


All I Want~Bokuaka

by Nickoliz_B1



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Based on a Kodaline Song, Bokuaka - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, M/M, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, No Smut, POV Bokuto Koutarou, Please Kill Me, Pro Volleyball Player Bokuto Koutarou, What Have I Done, im so sorry, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25145875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickoliz_B1/pseuds/Nickoliz_B1
Summary: All Bokuto could ever want is Akaashi.Akaashi is everything to him.What else could he need?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	All I Want~Bokuaka

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry

The first day we met was at volleyball. You said you were a setter and I immediately threw myself at you. Slowly, we became friends, best friends. When my third year started, I knew I was in love with you. I went with you everywhere. I went to you for everything. I could trust you. I could depend on you. And you did the same for me. 

You never got a girlfriend when I was in high school with you and if you did the year I was gone, you didn’t tell me. I always felt like we didn’t need boyfriends or girlfriends because we had eachother. It took me a while to realize that I just wanted you to only be with me. I realized I wanted you as mine when we were in college together. I knew I loved him in my third year but I didn’t realize I wanted him like that until we were both in college. 

When you asked me which college I went to, I was ecstatic. I knew your plan right away so it was no surprise when I saw you on the first day on campus. You weren’t the happiest to hear that Kuroo was at the school too but when Kenma agreed to be your roommate, you said you could live with it. I knew you would’ve stayed even if he was here but it was still nice to know you were staying. 

The day I asked you out was the best day of my life. It was a warm spring day. We were almost done with your first year of college. I invited you out for a walk around the park. Originally, my plan was to tell you that the Black Jackals wanted me on their team. When I told you, you were so proud of me. You hugged me and you were crying tears of joy. You knew how much this meant to me and it made you cry. That was when I decided it was time to tell you. I told you how much you meant to me and I asked you to be my boyfriend. You kissed me and then smiled. That was our first kiss and when we started dating.

When I started practicing with the Black Jackals, you had got your first job. An editor. You worked with writers and manga artists and you loved your work. It made me so happy to see you like this. We were both doing so well. It was perfect. Nothing could have made me happier than seeing us like this. 

That was when the match came. Our match against Schweiden Adlers. It was the biggest match for us yet. It was also the first one where we got to show off Shouyou. It was an amazing match and even though your job was almost 3 hours away, you still came. As soon as I saw you in the crowd I knew we would win. The match was long and tiring. It took a lot. It was almost lost but we made it. We won. Shouyou finally scored Tobio as his boyfriend and we all cheered. I didn’t want to ruin their moment but I had to. It was our time. 

I called you down from the crowds and helped you onto the court. My team knew about this and was prepared. Omi-san threw me my box and I made my speech. I spoke about how we met. I told him how I knew I loved him. I told him how scared I was he would reject me and the joy I felt when he didn’t. Then I told him how much he meant to me. I told him how much I loved him. I told him I wanted to spend my whole life with him. Then I got on one knee and opened my box. 

I watched the tears fall from your face as you nodded. I jumped up and screamed to the world that I would be marrying Keiji Akaashi. I told everyone and I almost died right there. I hugged you and kissed you and wiped the tears from your face. You laughed as I put the ring on your finger and we smiled together as I slid it on. Everything was perfect. 

Soon we started sharing an apartment. No more knocking on the door. No more waiting to be let in. We lived together now. Never having to go find each other. Now we just needed to return home to the other. It was different. Living together. It wasn’t easy at first. It’s not something you can rush but I trusted you. I knew you and I could make it work. And we did. It worked perfectly. 

Our wedding came a year after my proposal. We had a beach wedding as requested by you. You wanted to get married in Hawaii so I made it happen. I would move a mountain for you so this was small. Everyone we wanted there came. It was small but perfect. Your parents didn’t come but it was okay. We made it work. We could care less what everyone else said about us. We only wanted to be with each other. 

We lived married together for what felt like forever. 3 years had passed and it felt like only days since we got married. We had a dog and we named him Sho after a little ball of sunshine. That was when you decided you wanted kids. You came home one day to see me sitting on the couch with Sho. I had him in my lap and was petting him happily. I don’t know if that was it or if something else happened but then you decided. I promised you we would have kids and I’d never seen you happier. 

We had 3 kids. Omi, Kana, and Hoshimi. They were our little girls. Kana was the oldest and Omi was the youngest. It was the best thing to ever happen to us. By the time we had all three of them and were done having kids Kana was in her second year while Hoshimi was a first year. Omi was 7 years younger than Kana. They were all so close despite the age difference. Kana loved her littlest sister and was always happy to babysit so we could go out. Hoshimi was closer with Kana then Omi but didn’t have as close a connection to the both of them. Instead, she liked to hang out with us or her friends. You enjoyed that though. You always thought middle children had it hard so it made you happy to spend time with her. I loved watching you two play. It made me so happy. It made my life perfect. 

The third time I had ever seen you cry was when Sho passed away. The girls cried with you and held your hands. I held onto your shoulders as Hoshimi buried Sho in the backyard. It took the girls a while to get over it but you had it harder. Sho was your little boy. He was our baby boy. Our only son. We knew it would happen at some point but it came too soon. A week after he passed, you took me outside to where he was buried. You sat down and cried so I sat down and held you. Then you stopped and looked up at me. ‘I will miss him’ you said. That was the last time you cried about him. 

The last time I saw you cry was when we were 37. Young but old enough to know what we were doing. We were in the hospital. They had told you that you had Insomnia. Then they asked if your family had any history with this kind of thing. I also cried when you said your father died of FFI. The doctors asked to check you out again and you stayed overnight at the hospital. Our girls were 16, 15, and 9. They knew what it meant when I came home without you. They were just as scared as me. They needed you almost as much as I did. The next day I went back to check on you. They said they could only confirm chronic Insomnia caused by stress at the workplace and family concerns. They asked to keep you for a bit to treat you and I agreed. I wanted you to get better. I needed you to get better. When I came back next, you admitted something to me. Another reason you had insomnia. You told me you were getting treated for heart cancer. Tears fall out of your eyes as you explain that you were stressed and afraid that cancer would get you. You knew that had caught it in time but it was still scary. You didn’t want to give up and I knew you wouldn’t. 

The next time I visited you in the hospital, you weren’t looking too good. At this point, you had been here for almost 5 months for cancer treatment and the insomnia was getting worse. At this point, I had already known it was FFI. You didn’t have to tell me and you knew that. You smiled and grabbed my hand but you were shaking. ‘You need to rest.’ I told you but you shook your head and laughed weakly. ‘I can’t.’ you reminded me. I nodded and I could feel the tears in my eyes. I was 39 now and your birthday was coming up shortly. I could only pray you would make it until then. 

The last time I visited was on December 5. Your birthday. I brought the girls with me. Kana was 17 now and she was picking out a college. Hoshimi was 16 and Omi was still 9. You looked the worst I had ever seen you. You had told us that the doctor confirmed that your father passed the disease down to you. It hurt to see you like this but I knew it was going to hurt more later. The girls left presents on your bed, kissed your forehead, and left the room for me to talk to you. I didn’t know what to say so you said it for me. ‘I love you’. It was hard for you to get out but you needed to say it. It wasn’t just an I love you. It was a thank you, a goodbye. Tears fell from my face and you frowned. You wasted all your energy on those three words but I knew if you hadn’t you would’ve hugged me now. I sat by your bed the rest of the day until the doctors told me it was time to leave. I left a kiss on your cheek and whispered goodbye as I left the room. I’m not sure you heard it and I hope you didn’t. I hope the last words you heard me say were I love you. 

I got the call the next morning. The day after your birthday. Omi’s birthday. We didn’t celebrate her birthday that day. We spent it for you. We prayed for you. We cried for you. We missed you. I missed you. I would’ve given anything to see you again. To go back to the good old days. The days in high school where you would knock on my door and walk to school with me. The days when we studied together. The days where I messed around and you fixed it up for me. The days when we laughed together. The days we played volleyball together. The days we went to college classes together. The days we went on dates. The day I proposed. The day you moved in. The day we got a dog. The day we had our first daughter. The days our other daughters came. The day we first said I love you. I would’ve given anything for that again. Any of those days. All of those days. Our happiest days. Our perfect days. 

I miss you. It has been 5 years and I still miss you. Kuroo keeps telling me to find someone to make me happy again. I know you would want that but I can’t. No one makes me happier than you did. I wish you didn’t leave but it wasn’t for me to decide. It wasn’t for you either. Whoever decided that you needed to leave knew what they were doing. I know that when I die, I will be reunited with you. I know I will see you again. Our kids are doing better. Omi is getting over her depression. She got depressed when you left us but she’s getting better. We all miss you. Me, the girls, Kuroo, Kenma, Tobio, Shouyou, Omi, Atsumu. Everyone. We all loved you. Although my love was different then theirs it was love. No matter what happens I will always love you. I will always wait for you. Even if I know you aren’t coming back, I will still wait for the knock on my door. I will wait for you to come get me so we can walk to high school together. I will wait for us.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
